Parents, Never Tell Your Children These Things
Child psychologists explain how certain things you thought were normal are actually not. These unhealthy expressions of parenting teach your kids harmful lessons.
Never say these things to your kids
- Wait for your child to ask for your assistance
- Try to give a reason to your kids for things
- If you must compliment them, be specific
We have inherited the basic blueprint of how to raise and treat our children from our parents. Even if you think to yourself, "I will never say this phrase to my child", you may end up blurting it out in some situations, simply because it is so ingrained into your mind. But many classic expressions that get repeated down the generations actually teach harmful lessons to children. Better alternatives exist, and all you need to do is incorporate them into your parenting skills. A little knowledge and a healthy dose of persistence can go a long way. So, here are three things that you should never tell your children:
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1. "Let me help you"
While you may believe that it is important to teach your child independence and make him or her complete tasks themselves, sometimes you may get a little irritated and just want to get over with the task yourself. Your motivations are kind when you jump in to help out your struggling child, but being too eager to interrupt their struggles robs them of the satisfaction of finally learning to do it for themselves. Jumping in too soon undermines their independence. Instead, wait for your child to ask for your assistance.
2. "Because I said so"
This is one phrase that all us parents love to use. It is a one liner that automatically keeps your child from whining or complaining, and it requires absolutely no reasoning. But, this phrase takes all control away from your children. Try to give a reasoning, however short it is, so that it is clear to your children what the problem is as well.
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3. "Good job!"
While this may seem like a completely harmless phrase, tossing out this generic phrase whenever your child completes a task or excels in mastering a skill makes them dependent on your affirmation rather than their own motivation. Thus, they tend to complete tasks only to get your approval, and tend to not have motivation of their own. If you must compliment them, be specific. So, if your child practices their music piece perfectly, say, "That sounded great! I really liked the technical aspect you put in, in verse C."