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Mental Health: Is Hyper-Independence Really A Good Thing?

We discuss how hyper-independence occurs as a trauma response, what are its signs and how to overcome it.

Mental Health: Is Hyper-Independence Really A Good Thing?

Hyper-Independence can make it difficult to open up or communicate in relationships

What is hyper-independence?

Those who have gone through interpersonal trauma may choose hyper-independence as a coping mechanism. Hyper-independent people do not depend on others to complete tasks, do not seek assistance, and frequently avoid accepting support wherever possible, sometimes even to their own disadvantage.

As a result of not having their fundamental needs addressed by others, they have learned via their own lived experiences typically beginning in childhood, and have taken this lesson to its logical conclusion.

We frequently consider independence to be a strength and dependence to be a weakness. When this belief is applied too strictly, it can result in an overcompensation of independence. Hyper-independence is the ideal illustration of how having too much of a good thing can be detrimental. Hyper-independence occurs when the power of independence is completely destroyed by the incapacity to rely on others.

What are the signs of hyper-independence?

Hyper independence is when you act independently at your own discretion but go overboard. You might be thought of as someone who works hard and risks their life but won't seek help. A hyper-independent person asserts that they are capable of doing any task on their own. They don't feel embarrassed to ask for assistance. Rather, they simply believe that no one can perform duties as well as they can.

Some of the most common signs of hyper-independence are:

  • Hyper-independent people frequently keep to themselves or are apprehensive to provide personal information that might be exploited against them.
  • Some people become overly independent out of fear that others will disappoint them or violate their confidence.
  • When they feel overburdened, hyper-independent people find it difficult to seek assistance from others or delegate work to someone else.
  • An individual who is hyper-independent might find it difficult to lower their walls and allow the other person in because close relationships are by their very nature interdependent.
  • Hyper-independent people could overcommit to work or personal initiatives to the point that they can't handle the workload on their own.

Is hyper-independence a good thing?

In simple words, no, hyper-independence is not a good trait to have. Hyper independence as discussed occurs as a trauma response. Bad experiences as a child can lead to one being highly independent and protective of themselves. Hence, it is necessary to identify if you have it and to take the right measures to overcome hyper independence.

How to overcome hyper-independence?

There are various ways through which you can overcome hyper-independence. Although, the transition process can be hard, long, and different for everybody. Here are some tips you can inculcate to begin your journey of overcoming hyper-independence:

  • Asking for assistance might be frightening, but it's the first step to discovering how other people can come through for you and support you without failing you. Each of these steps involves some risk-taking, but the benefits of feeling and knowing that you are supported may outweigh the danger.
  • Hyper-independent people should stay away from codependent relationships since they frequently feel that they are carrying the burden of sustaining the relationship. They may frequently feel overburdened by the codependent person's demands and take on more work to keep from upsetting them.
  • Only if you let others do it for you will individuals who can show up for you become a reality. Allowing yourself the risk of letting them show you is essential since you probably have people in your life who care about you and want to be there for you.
  • It's crucial to give trust difficulties some time to develop. Building trust requires us to go through our experiences and learn how to manage disappointment. We derive a great deal from personal experiences and build our opinions on them.

Now that you have gained more clarity on what hyper-independence is. You can apply this to better understand yourself and how to work towards bettering yourself. 

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Disclaimer: This content including advice provides generic information only. It is in no way a substitute for a qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist or your own doctor for more information. NDTV does not claim responsibility for this information.


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