Why do I have such a feminine body?
Q: I am a 29 years old guy. My problem is that I have a feminine skeleton with otherwise normal male characteristics. I have slender arms, narrow wrist, pointed elbows, small chest, narrow waist, rounded hips, the shoulder blades etc. Even the fat distribution is feminine; I start putting on fat mostly in the buttocks and hips and then the waist; only a little fat gets into the upper part of the body above the waist. Out of fear, I eat less. However, the rest of the characteristics are all male, like my voice, normal beard, body hair, penis size, testicular size, normal erection, semen in ejaculation etc. And my health is very normal with no instances of any kind of problems. I have had this problem ever since adolescence when the body structure was developing into that of an adult. I could not muster enough courage to visit a doctor and out of embarrassment & fear of stigma I have never discussed this with anyone. It is killing me mentally and has also subdued my social life. I am otherwise a qualified, well-earning professional and am a hi-flier at my profession and am respected. However, this problem makes me avoid social engagements because my clothes ill-fit me and also I dread standing up in front of an audience (like in a meeting) which is now beginning to adversely affect my job too because I am now a senior and need to conduct meetings and addresses. I am being highly pressurised for marriage by my parents, but I have been avoiding it vehemently. But now they are beyond patient listening. I am running out of time and up against a wall, and am also running out of reason to live. I am not a psychological weakling or a hypochondriac who has conjured up an illness. It is an actual problem. Please help me by suggesting me some genuine recourse. Looking forward to a detailed response with diagnosis and suggestion on whom I can consult in Delhi and what therapies I can adopt, the rough time duration for cure if possible, and the cost involved.
A:Your problem seems to be linked to self perception and self esteem and you don't seem to have any hormonal imbalance. I would suggest that you should confide in someone you can trust, even if they do disregard it as inconsequential you might get some insight into others perception of your body type. Also I would like to clarify some other facts, such as there are two generic categories of body type such as the pear shaped and the apple shaped. The pear shaped has a tendency to gain weigh on the hips and thighs while the apple shaped tend to gain on the stomach and upper body. There is no strict male or female body type, as a lot of women also have a tendency to gain weight on their upper body and vice versa which shows that your body structure is not abnormal or any less attractive. However, your narrow frame may also be more visible because of your weight (being on the lesser side tends to accentuate your frame), style of dressing etc. So if you have time you could try some controlled weight gain and training at a local gym. The problem seems to have an adverse psychological effect on your daily functioning hence visiting any good counsellor in your locality may also be a good idea.