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How can my husband's insecure behaviour be managed?

Q: My 25 years old husband is very insecure about me. When I go out with my friends, he expects me to text message him the entire time I am out. Sometimes I feel even if I talk about someone other than him, he's not interested at all. He has his friends and although he doesn't go out with them much. He always teases me saying that I am having a boyfriend, which makes me sad. He had been cheated on earlier. How can his insecure behaviour be managed?

A:You seem to have assessed the situation accurately. In cases where a person has had a bad experience it takes a long while to deal with it and they tend to carry over the baggage to a new relationship. The obvious answer to the problem you are faced with is a lot of re-assurance you can provide your husband. But at the same time you have every right to spend time with others in your life and have that space. To maintain this balance you can do little things like telling him where you are going and when you'll be back. When you have a moment just send him a text to say hi. On other occasions, you can be more expressive about your love and commitment to him. If these re-assurances fall short, then having an honest conversation with him might be a good idea. He probably needs to verbalise his anxieties and understand that his relationship with you is different. You may need to be patient till he is able to have more faith and let go of his insecurities.


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