How can I handle my obsession?
Q: I am a 28 years old male who has got besotted by the beauty, mannerisms, and persona of a newly married fellow female who joined my work place a few months back. We have never interacted but we get to exchange glances during lunch. I have no carnal desire and just want to hold her, possess her and adore her, admire her, befriend her, talk to her. I have no intention of disturbing her married life by entering into any romantic relationship. All my worries, stress vanish when I look at her or think of her. I have never felt the same about anyone else and for so long a period. The problem is that I cannot take my mind off her at any time come what may. I am also fully aware that there are many beautiful girls but I have developed a pessimistic attitude that I will never be able to find a girl like her to marry. I am unable to comprehend why I am so infatuated with her. Is it because of age, hormones or need for romance? I also need advice on how to tackle this obsession and craziness, although I am totally enjoying it! Please guide.
A:You wish to find out as to how you can tackle this obsession as you describe it and at the same time it seems you are deriving a lot of pleasure out of it. As you correctly point out you are experiencing intense attraction towards this person. To my mind trying to understand the reasons for the same is a pointless exercise and will be ineffective in helping you regain control. I would advise you to take little steps away from this situation, to withdraw your energies slowly by focusing on more important things. It is easy to assign too much importance to these feelings and to hence stay overwhelmed by them. A married woman will not be able to offer you much even if were to establish any sort of an equation with her. Seek better, you deserve more than a few glances and some frustrating fantasy.