What should I do about my mother-in-law who is dominating my life?
Q: My Problem is that I get depressed very soon. This I have noticed especially after marriage, I was a very happy go lucky person before. My family consists of my mother-in-law and 2 brother-in-laws and my husband. All these 3 men were abroad. After our marriage, my husband retired and we are settled in Mumbai with my mother-in-law. She does not respect my parents as everybody in the family thinks we are not upto their status as all are or were abroad but we are very well settled in Mumbai if not abroad. She abuses me and my parents and my husband doesn't say anything as he feels he will hurt his mom and he won't separate from his mother as he had promised his parents. He too doesn't like my parents and doesn't even bother to speak to them when he is at my place. My in-laws and husband don't even like me visiting my parents or they visiting me. My parents love my 6 months old baby and now I fear they may not even like her being close to my parents and I doubt if they will let her stay with my parents overnight when she grows. I have spoken to my husband many a times and he just says sorry and coolly ignores it the next day. He expects me to be good to his relatives. I am tired and last year I was so depressed that I had a hormonal imbalance and was under treatment and the doctor advised for counselling and now again I am heading towards it. I feel I should separate from my husband and work and look after my daughter. Here we are all dominated by my mother-in-law and I am a slave as she feels I am fortunate to get a rich household. Should I separate as I can very well take care of my daughter with the help of my parents. My husband drinks and I hate it and my mother-in-law says that I am not smart enough to stop him like other daughter in-laws who are successful in stopping their husbands from drinking and my husband just listens to her and ignores.
A:I am indeed sorry to hear your tale of woe. It is a pity that we cannot talk to each other, respect each other and consider the other persons point of view. After all your parents made you what you are and are an essential part of you. Abusing them is like abusing a part of you. You should try and make your husband see your point of view. Going out to work is a good idea. As for separation, one should explore other avenues too before taking the final decision.