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The girl I love, likes someone else, what should I do?

Q: I mix with everyone but have never shared anything personal with anybody and have never felt attracted to the opposite sex. During my graduation, I developed closeness with a girl in my batch who was very nice and caring. Within no time I fell for her and I started sharing every bit of my life with her. Now she has fallen for someone else. I don't have any problems but her behaviour has changed and she has started hurting me by lying to me. Fortunately this has not affected my academics but I suffer from migraines since the time I came to know about her relationship. I used to get depressed and in turn get serious headaches. I have tried a lot not to think about her but in vain. I can't leave her as she needs my help both academically and personally. She doesn't realise that her statements are hurting me because I don't want to hurt her in any manner. But the headaches are making my life difficult. Thanks to my academic performance, I have a job in hand and being from a decent family I don't have any problems. She means a lot to me. Should I consult a neurologist?

A:Did you ever talk to the girl about your feelings towards her? Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Do you respect yourself? Respect for oneself and each other nurtures a healthy relationship. It is understandable that this girl means a lot to you because you opened up your heart to her. One may mistake physical attraction as well as this kind of intimacy with love. However, the question is do you also mean so much to her? Does she also love you? What about your feelings? Think of her behaviour - lying, giving statements (whatever that means), hurting you - does not look like someone you should be wasting your emotions on. I don't know what you mean by she being dependent on you personally and academically - it may just be an excuse to meet her and not face the reality and let go. Please, keep your self respect intact. I think you should try to figure out what you want - headaches or a more stable and caring relationship - and behave accordingly. Don't shy away from new relationships because you have had a negative experience. Learn your lessons and move on. There are enough good girls around. You may go to a neurologist for your headaches and a psychologist to work through your feelings.


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