My husband is an overprotective father, how can I deal with it?
Q: I am 30 years old and married for 5 years. It was an arranged marriage but nothing less than a love marriage. We had lots of love and respect for each other till our daughter was born 2.5 years back. After the birth of my daughter, my husband became an over protective and possessive father. He cautions me in everything I do with her as if I am a careless mother. If anything goes wrong, he blames me for it. He enjoys when she colours the walls of the rooms and when I object, he says I am very arrogant and a bad teacher. I left my job to be with her during this phase of her life, but he says that I only feed her, which a babysitter can also do. His comments hurt me causing behavioural changes in me. We both realised it and are very upset with every day arguments. Unintentionally, he is making me frustrated with my daughter, which I tend to show in his presence. We tried to talk about this but reached to no solution. I am worried how long we will be able to continue this way. Please advise.
A:The problem that you have been experiencing is something that most couples would go through in some form or the other. Somewhere down the line, as two people get used to each other, they tend to start taking each other for granted and consequently fail to appreciate each other. Also, this is something that happens quite commonly when couples have children, especially the first child. Often, both have different ideas about parenting and this leads to clashes. What is required is for the both of you to sit down and have a peaceful talk on this matter. Take specific issues and both write down on a piece of paper what you individually think about it. After this, together you can look for a middle path. This exercise can only help if both of you make up your mind that you have to compromise on your individual ideas a bit. Also, both of you will need to be open to understanding the other persons point of view. This can be done well with the help of a professional counsellor. In the end, one of the most important things that need to be brought back into action is appreciating each other for the small things in life.