Q: We had a love marriage but with our parents approval and have a 3 year old son who has been in the day care centre since 1.6 years as both my husband and I are employed. He is also attending a pre-KG now. He is very comfortable and lovable there. We live in a joint family with in-laws and brothers-in-law who are not very disciplined. My problem is that I am unable to match with the frequency of my in-laws as I was brought up in a very disciplined, social behavioural sense. This is causing me dissatisfaction, frustration and tiredness. It also ends up with misunderstanding with my spouse who is a little possessive too. I am unable to bear the pressure from all sides. My child is not growing up the way I expect him to. He is also like others in the family totally disorganised. Off late he is also becoming very adamant at home alone. He is very comfortable with my parents and sister but in-laws don't prefer the same and hence it ends up with a misunderstanding amongst elders. The environment at home is also always tense and there is no peace. Please advise me how to overcome this situation and bring up my child well and also help me and my spouse live peacefully? How do I handle the situation?

A:What you have described is not uncommon. Parenting styles are different with different people, and this does result in some dissonance on family, and more so if it affects the behaviour of the child. I suggest that you have an open talk with your husband, and both of you meet a psychiatrist to discuss the child behavioural problems to get an insight into the matter, and thereby effecting a change is all members. What is important for a child is that all adults in the house should have a consistent parenting style.