I am not sexually attracted to my wife, what is wrong with me?
Q: I am not interested to have sex with my wife. I feel she is too skinny. But whenever I see a lady outside with good figure, I get an urge. I like big sized hips and breasts. But I have not had any sexual intercourse with any one other than my wife, after marriage. Occasionally I go to my ex-girl friend, who is married and quench my self without sexual intercourse. What would be the reason to my sexual frigidity with my wife. She is interested in sex but I ejaculate within 1 to 2 minutes. I have a son whom I love a lot. But I don't know whether I love my wife? She is a good house maker, qualified etc. Before the marriage itself I saw her naked and then onwards I disliked her body but married her somehow. Now my question is what is the reason for my sexual frigidity with my wife but not with others?
A:Yes, this is very much a psychological issue, and does not have anything to do with urology. What you have is less attraction, and desire towards your wife, but not less desire towards sex in general, and you do get attracted towards others. What you need to do is, that you work on the non-sexual relationship with your wife before focussing only on sex. Meaning, that you should share more time, and emotions, have fun and enjoyment with her, talk more, improve communication, and start being intimate with her, all this would rekindle the feelings. Sex is not just about attractiveness, its also about the mutual fun the couple has. Consult a psychiatrist, or consider marital counselling.