Q: I am a 42 year old female. I was separated from my husband for three years, nearly two years back. Now we are together, but it is five years since I have had any sex life. I just don't feel like going to my husband. Instead I have very great physical desire towards other men. Why this strange feeling at this age? I have a teenaged daughter and a 7 year old son. I'm feeling miserable. Is there any medication to kill this physical desire or else I may ruin my life. I'm having great difficulty and in a way am obsessed with this thought. Kindly suggest a medical remedy for this disease (read somewhere that this is called nymphomania) if any. I wish to add that I hail from a very good decent family and I'm well educated too.

A:You do not sound like a nymphomaniac. You sound like a frustrated woman who is still sexually alive, but who is no longer attracted to your husband. Why did you go back to him? For love? Because you are a responsible person, considerate of your childrens wish to have married parents? To please your family? Why were you separated; was he with another woman? If so, how did it end - did she throw him out, or did he decide that you are truly the love of his life and that he was a fool to leave? Or, did you leave him for another? If so, why did you come back? Your letter raises more questions than it answers, and without answers to the questions I have asked, your sex problem cannot be answered. It may be a symptom, not the basic problem. It is hard to be attracted sexually to a man who has hurt you, or to a man toward whom you feel anger, even if you are unaware of angry feelings. My suggestion: Talk with a marriage counselor. If you are depressed, you may be sent to a psychiatrist or other physician, who may prescribe medication for depression. Incidentally, antidepressant medications have reduced sex drive as a (usually unwanted) side effect.