How can I control my anger?
Q: I am a 25 years old man who is facing a problem of frequent anger, especially when someone speaks loudly in the family. Actually, in our family it is hereditary to speak loudly, lose temperament in a short while and not to listen to someone else. It has been almost 3-4 years now that I have been facing this problem. I can't resist losing my patience when my dad speaks with me loudly or pushes me for a work more than one time. Sometimes, I feel like killing myself and that would be the end of all quarrels, because nowadays I am feeling restless at night. I also feel that somebody is standing on my head and repeating the same story in my ears again and again and his voice keeps trembling in my brain and it makes me feel restless. Please advise.
A:Anger is a normal emotion as like feeling sad, happy, frustrated, irritated, etc. However, normal emotions need to be expressed in context - and out of context normal emotions can become abnormal with different connotations. Similarly, emotional reactions if extended or more than expected in a situation do start getting considered as abnormal. Anger specifically can be very destructive in nature, having the potential to sour relationships, and creating problems at work as well as home. The first thing is to be able to recognise that the emotional expression is abnormal, out of context, and severe. Further on, the effort should be to recognise situations, context, incidents and specific individuals, which allegedly lead to the outburst. Simultaneously, it is important to start becoming aware of the thoughts at that specific time of the outburst. Once such a diary is maintained over a period of couple of weeks, it would be useful to visit a Clinical Psychologist who would be able to help you with anger management techniques. However, we also need to be aware that sometimes-undue expressions of anger can be secondary to ongoing stress, burnout, depression and relationship failure, which would require different techniques for managing anger as well using medications sometimes.