Can an extra-marital affair lead to AIDS?
Q: I am a 28-year-old married woman. In my neighbourhood lives a 20-year-old male friend. I have developed a friendly relation with him. He talks about his college and studies with me. He fell in love with a girl a year before whom he loved very sincerely. The girl also loved him sincerely. But due to her family problem, she cheated him and married another man. My friend was completely shattered by her act and was mentally disturbed as well. Nowadays he can't do his work properly. His divine love has changed into sexual desire towards women. He has started looking at me with sexual instincts. He says he wants to have sex with me. It's not that he is sexually attracted towards me but in his general hatred against any women. If he does not have sex with me, he will definitely approached sexual workers and he will get HIV. So I agreed to have sex with him though I am already married to another man. This sexual relation is continuing for the past one month. How can a women tell this to her husband? Neither I nor my friend is infected by HIV. But we had unprotected sex in infertile periods. How can we stop this relation? Can my friend marry another woman and have sex with her? Will any of us be infected with HIV? When my friend commenced to have sex with me he was a virgin and he is still having sex only with me, I am sure about this. I never had sex with any other man other then my friend. Since he is younger than me is there a problem related to our health? Can I still carry my husband’s child?
A:The issues you raise are social rather than medical. I can only say that there is no risk of HIV if both of you are mutually completely faithful to each other. However there is also your husband in the equation, if he too is faithful then all three are safe. There is no reason that you cannot have a child with your husband, or your lover. His being younger than you has no bearing on the matter. I will not comment on the other issues, you have to decide whether you want to end this relationship, or tell your husband and share your life with him in an atmosphere of trust.