Will sexual abuse in my childhood affect my marriage?
Q: I can't exactly remember how it started, but it was in my childhood. I was sexually abused by my cousins in my childhood. I liked what he did that time, but today I find myself no where. I had a homosexual relationship from the age of 10 for some time with my cousins. In the process I started masturbating a lot, and that continued; I am 25 today, though I am living a normal life. Actually when I am alone, I can fantasize about sex and used to masturbate. Many a times I felt guilty but the pleasure of this act overshadowed the guilt. For the past 3 months I am engaged and having a nice time with my fiance and since she came to my life all this has stopped. But now I am worried, could all this affect my married life? I feel my penis has got some bend towards right side due to the prolonged masturbation. Would this be a problem later? Sometimes while talking to my fiance I felt some little amount of white liquid coming out of it; is it normal? Also I felt some pain in my lower abdomen, though I couldn't distinguish if its in the kidney or in testicles. Could it be due to tight under garments? Please help.
A:I can quite understand your anxieties and concerns but please be sure that all of them are pretty much common, if not universal at young age, and with the kind of experiences that you have had, the concerns are more understandable. One or the other kind of homosexual experience, in different degrees, is quite common and so is masturbation. I am sure that you will be able to overcome all of these experiences and the apprehensions related to them in due course of time. The best thing to help in this normal process can be a meaningful relationship with a partner, and since you find the relationship with your fiance growing well, my confidence in your being able to overcome all the problems that seem so worrisome to you at this time, is very high. So, just relax and enjoy your life without worrying about the experiences which can be best termed as normative.