Why does my partner not have intercourse with me?
Q: Last year I got married to a man who is 28 years old. We had a very short time to be together before our marriage as we were introduced by our parents. Initially he was so attracted to me, we had some physical contact but didn't do intercourse. As I was living in Sri Lanka he had to go back to Seychelles and again he came to Sri Lanka after two months for our wedding. The night before the wedding he told me that he doesn't have any physical attraction for me therefore he cannot have sex with me. I was shocked and didn't know what to do. Somehow we got married and we two came to Seychelles. But still he doesn't have sex with me. He loves me and cares for me, I can see that but when he comes to bed his behaviour is strange. He doesn't even like to kiss me. I know he is not a gay, he has had many girls earlier. What he says is as we two don't know each other well, he needs more time to get to know me, he says he should have loads of love to have sex. I'm so frustrated and disappointed, he gets erections, I have seen it. I touch him, kiss him all over, and turn him on but he don't want to go in me, why I don't understand. I suck his penis and make him come sometimes but he never touches me. Please help me, is he having any problem, I think he's having it. I'm a tall attractive girl and must tell you, he is very proud to have a wife like me as I'm very beautiful and sexy. Doctor do you think he should go to a doctor or should I give him some time? Please help me.
A:My first suggestion is that you stop giving him pleasure and climaxes with your mouth, since that can only lower his desire for intercourse. You should be very affectionate, sexy, and playful for a month or two, and see if that solves the problem. Make no demands for intercourse during this time. If the problem continues, then he should definitely see a sex therapist or psychologist for counselling.