Q: I have been severely suffering from a family problem. I have completed my graduation in computer science from a reputed university and I have also completed course at NIIT. I am in search of placements in the IT field. There is much pressure from all sides of my family and friends. Sometimes, I even have to hear painful words from the people around me. My mother and my grandmother get involved in quarrels frequently just in front of me. They never care about the surroundings and they just carry on with their fight. My family lives 50kms from Visakhapatnam. My father has a reputation in my town and this issue is worrying a lot to him. Due to this, he is staying away from our home most of the time. Even, I am 1000kms away from my home. So, all this is worrying me a lot couple with my unemployment. Pressure for a job and quarrels among my family members is really disturbing me a lot. I desperately need a solution for this. My nerves in my brain are really flushing out all the time when I think about this issue.

A:From what you report it seems that you are undergoing a lot of stress. Frequent quarrels between your mother and grandmother are not only spoiling the atmosphere but also affecting the health of you and your family members. Prolonged stress is very unhealthy and can trigger many physiological problems as well. My advice to you would be that you talk to your father about this issue. Both of you can then individually and jointly talk to your mother and grandmother explaining to them that how their behaviour is not only causing distress to everybody around them but is also unhealthy for each of them. At your own level you can deal with the stress by practicing yoga and meditation. In case you are unable to handle it at your level then you can also take the advice of a professional family therapist/counsellor in your area.