What is wrong with my wife's behaviour?
Q: I am 52 years old, my wife is 45 years old and we have a 24y old son. We belong to an upper middle class family and there is no problem other than my wife's behaviour. She is very immature, childish and innocent. One day she will ask whether my salary is Rs. 10,000 per month or Rs. 100,000. If I give her Rs. 100 and give her a simple sum of Rs. 2.50 for x item, Rs. 3.00 for y item and so on and ask her what will be the balance left after spending, she will blink or say that the balance is Rs. 120 or so. She cannot be scolded on any count as she is always depressed and will get angry and shout really loudly asking me and our son to get out of the house. This is a regular feature. She will not prepare food or do simple house keeping, will not take care of the costly items while she pays more attention to waste cloth, cleaning cloth and other trivial items. If we throw a waste door mat or any old item, she will yell. Our son was educated in one of the UK university whereas she used to tell all our relatives and others that he had studied in USA. She is a doctor addict and this had been conveyed to us by many doctors themselvesas every second day she goes to some doctor complaining of some pain. She is unable to convey the real issues and confuses the doctor too who, based on her inputs, prescribe tablets, whereas in reality, she may not have that complaint at all. She does not know her importance and position even though we love her so much. Her self esteem is very low. When we take her out like a hill station or other places, she will stay behind in the hotel room watching TV. I request you to advise so as to lead a happy and blissful life since her torture has become a nightmare for me and our son?
A:This sure seems an area of great concern. According to what you have described in your letter, the behaviour of your wife is disorganised and needs professional medical attention. This kind of disorganization in behaviour could occur in various different neuro-psychiatric disorders. I can understand your worry and difficulty in coping with your wife's behaviour. As is reflected in your letter, in addition to the disorganization in behaviour, your wife is also displaying aggression and low self esteem. You must, at your earliest, take her to a psychiatrist for a detailed and better understanding of what is ailing your wife. Seek professional help - immediately! In fact, I would say that enough time has probably been wasted earlier.