Should I tell my future wife everything about myself?
Q: I am 27 years old and soon to be engaged and married. My problem is that my approach towards women is different. I do not have any girlfriend as such and I do not believe in it. I have a traditional approach and people say that I am too restrictive in my thinking and should be more open about women. My problem is that when I get engaged, what should my approach be with my would be wife and how should I respond to her social behaviour? What all can I discuss with her? I would like to be quite frank and open and would like to discuss her past, my past, our family life, need to be united and our culture and also our sex life. I would like to know if it is ok if I discuss these things before marriage? I was affected by rheumatic fever when I was 4 years old and am on penicillin injection. Doctors have told me that I can discontinue after 2 years. But how do I talk of this to her during our meeting and what will her reaction be? Will she dislike me for not telling the truth or will she accept the reality. I need help in this regard.
A:I appreciate the thought you are putting into this matter of establishing a good relationship with your wife to-be. There is no single formula of what works in relationships. It is dependent on the personality of both individuals. It is often useful to begin with sharing little things and assessing the reaction the other person has to your comments. Open communication and honesty is at the base of a good relationship. However all of this is a process. You do not have to share everything in one go but take one step at a time and make sure that you are addressing issues when both of you are ready to talk about it. Also encourage her to talk about her thoughts and feelings as the communication must be both ways. And remember to continue to put in the effort once you are married.