Should I marry my partner as I doubt if he really loves me?
Q: I got engaged 2.5 months back. It was an arranged marriage. My fiancé told me everything about his past in terms of the relationships he had had and the intimacy he shared with them. Whatever I am telling you about him is what he told me. Because of frustrations in life due to work and breaking relationships, he turned into a person who used women to satisfy his sexual desires and let out his frustration. He is sexually very active. He wants to have sex with me before marriage because I feel he can't control his urge due to his past experiences. He has always been and wants to be with smart, thin, beautiful women, typical corporate culture stuff. I am a simple, plump (according to him fat) and down to earth person. I usually wear salwar kameez and he wants me to be like those women. I feel a little hesitant wearing western outfits and want to wear them but am trying to reduce to look proper in them. He had always desired his wife to be a good wife at home and an excellent girlfriend outside. I hope I can satisfy the first criteria but still trying to come up to his expectations in terms of my physical appearance and body language. I am seriously making an effort but feel scared what if I don't meet up to his expectations. I have realised and he has accepted that he is emotionally attached to me but physically it is not so as touching my body repels him. We feel the bonding when we talk over the phone but when we meet he doesn't enjoy and feel happy being with me. He feels awkward introducing me to his friends and colleagues as they have never encountered him with my kind of a girl. I feel he is meeting a formality by being with me. I can't bear it and feel scared as to where this relationship is going. Please advise me on what to do? I love him a lot and do not want to lose him.
A:Every relationship requires mutual trust, respect, understanding besides love. Without these its difficult to sustain the relationship. What you need to ask yourself is that are you getting all this in your relationship? From your description it seems to be that you are the one entertaining the likes and dislikes of your partner without his being sensitive towards your needs and comfort level. Love is not just a feeling it involves certain amount of compassion as well, which in your case seems to be one sided only. Evaluate your relationship keeping these essentials in mind and I am sure you will find your answers!