Q: I am 26 years old and suffering from diabetes type 1 for the past 3 years. My main problem is that I think a lot creating tension for myself. I went through a bad time by falling in love with a girl and now the relationship is over. The girl is my cousin and she left me because I am diabetic. She knew earlier too about my problem but now she says I will die soon and so doesn't want to be with me. She also has low B.P and I never pointed her about her negatives. This has hurt me a lot and I am unable to forget her, as I love very much. I don't want to hurt her but sometime I do feel like hurting her. Due to these tensions I am unable to concentrate on my job and I am not interested in living any more. Can you give me some solution so that I can live happily without any tensions?

A:Relationship which breaks as a result of physical ailment in one partner may not have worked well for long anyway as the life itself will bring lot more future complex stressors. However, as a result of that if you have a grudge on the other person, that will not help you and in fact, do you more harm rather than any good. When we hate something/somebody, we feel bad/feel hurt. In turn, if we forgive, its easy to let that go and move forward. It is possible that your holding a grudge is hurting you, making you tensed up. So, I would strongly recommend forgiving her - in fact telling her [calling her on telephone/writing a letter/face-to-face (best)] is a good way of forgiving and letting you free of the underlying hatred. By doing this you not only help yourself resolve the conflict but will feel better and happy.