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My daughter thinks that nobody appreciates her, what should be done?

Q: My daughter is 27 years old. She thinks thar she is not beautiful though she is fairly good. She has hair on the body and on her face and she is obsessed by this. She feels that she is left behind in the race of professional success, she has very high moral values and finds difficult to cope up with the ways of the world. She thinks that men do not appreciate her views and values. This causes her frequent depression. She seeks approval for every thing and if the response is not as she likes she feels depressed. She has implicit faith in god and her guru and once she felt that she has let them down. What course of action is suggested in such a case? What medicines can be prescribed?

A:It appears that your daughter may be suffering from self-esteem issues. There are many aspects of an individuals personality that need attention and nurturing which in turn allow the individual to feel good about himself/herself. From your query it is evident that your daughter is focussing entirely on physical attributes and negatively evaluating herself. It is also clear that her need for approval is very high which is once again linked to low self-esteem. The causes for a negative self-concept can be varied. It is important that these issues are evaluated so that she can learn to challenge these negative thoughts about herself. In a case like this long term counselling may be the best option. A trained counsellor will be able to help your daughter understand patterns of her thinking that are creating these difficulties and help her build her confidence in herself. Often feedback is also provided to the family to help learn new ways of responding to the person in question so as not to reinforce these problems. She may or may not need medication by this will be clear only once a mental health professional has a chance to evaluate her needs. Please consult a psychologist at the earliest as these are issues that can be easily addressed and the stress reduced.

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