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Is my daughter being sexually abused?

Q: I was a single mother and got married to an engineer working in France? He was an unmarried person. My daughter and I came to France. He is very creative in his work and wants to learn more and more in his field. He used to work day and night. I did not complain. He slowly started to touch and feel my daughter's body and was caught by me. We had a fight and I was not giving enough sex to him so I thought that could be the reason. I thought it was my fault. Recently, when I was putting my second daughter to sleep in another room, he was telling a story to my elder daughter and after she slept, he started browsing pre-teen porn site. My daughter is 10 years old now. Next day when I saw the site, I was very upset and told him that I could not trust him. We ended up in a huge fight and he denied doing anything to her. That very night, when my daughter was sleeping, he went to touch her and was caught by me. I told my parents and they are very upset too. I am very afraid to keep my daughter and thinking of sending her to her grandparents. I don't know what to do. Someone told me that it happens because of hormonal changes and also because of unconscious mind. I am eagerly waiting for your suggestions.

A:You have described child sexual abuse. It is abnormal behaviour on your husband's part, and very bad for your daughters. The fact that he continues, and gets angry when you tell him he is doing a bad thing sounds like he does not know or admit that he is doing a very bad thing, and he will continue. For that reason it would be best for you and your daughters to leave. If he were doing these things in the United States, he would be charged as a criminal and would go to prison for Child Sexual Abuse. I do not know if the laws are the same in France, but in any case this can be very harmful to your daughters. It is your duty to protect them by going away with them. It could be very bad for them if you send them away, but stay with this man, because then they might feel that they were bad and were being sent away. Also, this is not your fault, and it is not because you are not giving him enough sex!


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