Is my boyfriend ashamed of me?
Q: My problem is with regard to my boyfriend and our relationship. We seem to be having frequent problems as he complains that I am fat (153 cms of height and weigh 70 kgs). Our relationship is now in its 5th year. I feel he doesn't feel the need to talk to me for a long time. He also feels ashamed to be with me and keeps insisting I reduce. He wants me to be more modern. I feel he keeps finding excuses to tell me that I am not up to his mark and expectations and that I should reduce and behave, as he wants me to if we need to have a happy life after marriage. Please tell me if I should carry forward this relationship? What are my chances of a happy life with this person? He is adamant by nature and will never give in if we have a misunderstanding. He always considers his views to be correct. He gives me a time frame to talk with him after which he is restless and would even switch off his mobile. I am very confused and in a fix. Please help; will he ever change or will this problem magnify? Please help me take this decision on whether or not I should end this relationship?
A:Even though, he brings up the issue of your weight/shameful to be with you, etc - this is not the core issue. In fact, it is likely that he is the one who might have doubts about his self-esteem/lack of security-identity. In most of such cases I doubt if he will change over the long run, unless you feel that he is able to recognize the real deficits in himself and will make a strong effort to correct these.