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Is it right to go against my parents' wish and marry?

Q: I was involved with a boy for the past 4 years. Both of us were at the same Engineering college. He is around 6 months younger to me and also belongs to a different caste. Actually, initially I was resisting our relationship, but later I agreed to him and got seriously involved with him. I mean we both tried a lot to please our parents, and did succeed to some extent. Both of us got nice jobs and our marriage was almost settled. But after some days his father sent me a letter to our home wherein he wrote stuff about girls, their behaviour and about sex. This incident hurt us a lot. When we asked, they said that the father was suffering from some mental problem since the past 14 years, and its symptoms were very much like schizophrenia. Now my parents are not agreeing to this marriage as this is a hereditary problem and may cause harm in future. I am very much depressed and don't know what to do. Is it right to go against my parents wish and go ahead with this relationship? But I have no respect for his family. He is willing to leave his parents also. Shall I pursue him to leave his parents too and go ahead with this relationship? I am in such mental tension that I cannot concentrate on my work too. I love my parents very much and I know they are right. I have also no brother and only one younger sister. If I take any wrong step it will hurt my parents a lot. Please suggest me in this regard.

A:You need to be sure that your boyfriend’s father is suffering from schizophrenia. Also it might be useful to know that it is not entirely a genetic disease and there is only 6% susceptibility to develop schizophrenia if a parent has it. You are obviously extremely special to this person as he is willing to leave his family, but assess how much your relationship means to you and why you are having this fear about being able to adjust with another person after knowing him for 4 years. You also need to address the reason behind your lack of respect for his family. Try communicating your problem to a trusted elder in your family. And also give it time, if things are still unclear and if you continue to feel depressed, you should consider going to a counselor.


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