I have completely lost interest in life, what do I do?
Q: I am 34 years old unmarried woman suffering from a very typical problem. I have lost interest in my life. I was a very intelligent child in childhood and had very high dreams. But I could not achieve my target of reaching to a high post. I compromised for that. I fell in love with a boy but later came to know that it was only one sided, he was not interested in me. Then I was rejected by two prospective grooms chosen by family for marriage from past three years. This had completely shattered me. My family consists of old parents, who now want me to take care of them only. My elder brother and sister are married and stay abroad. They are now not interested in me. I feel myself caught in a prison. I do not want to look into the mirror. I have started looking very ugly. I do not want any good clothes, make up, jewellery. I do not even comb my hair for days. There is no enthusiasm left in my life. I just want to eat specially sweets and sleep. I have gained weight of 80 kgs. The biggest problem with me is that being so educated I know that all this is wrong and this type of rejection will not end my life. I am not getting motivated, afraid of and avoid myself. I have started cursing and hating my self. Is this is any emotional problem which could be cured or I myself am responsible for it. I am not getting a sense of security and satisfaction, feel frustrated all the time. I do not enjoy music, films, painting etc., have no friends also. Kindly tell me what should I do.
A:I fully empathise with your suffering. Obviously you've faced many problems in your life so far and they've made you feel bitter. What you've described about yourself, unfulfilled desires compounded by real life stresses have predisposed you to develop these depressive symptoms. Feeling low, unable control negative pessimistic thoughts and poor image of self are definite features of depressive disorders. You should immediately consult a psychiatrist for proper evaluation and advice. The depression is caused by hormonal imbalance in the brain centres responsible for our thoughts and emotions. The psycho social features are responsible for precipitating and perpetuating this disorder. The disorder is treatable with medications &/or counselling/psychotherapy. This is not a phenomenon caused by deliberate attempt or a result of sin/curse. Hopefully it will be just a passing phase in your life, if treated properly.