I am worried about not getting a virgin wife, what should I do?
Q: I am a 30-year-old virgin male. I have had no girlfriends and I find this very embarrassing, as these days no guy or girl stays a virgin after the age of 18-20. Almost all my male friends have gone through relationships with girls. Now, I fear marriage, as I know it for sure that I will not be able to get a virgin wife. I fear that I will not know anything about her past life, as no female at least in our country reveals her past at any cost. I am a sensitive guy and if after the marriage I find that my woman has had past relationships, I'll be in great depression and feel cheated. Its my personal feeling that loneliness is better than depression. I know it for sure that I will never get my kind of girl and I don't want to compromise, as it will be like killing myself. Is there something wrong with me, if I have such feelings? Whereas my friends and relatives say it carries no importance. I think I am very out dated, but I can't help it. Please advise.
A:It is understandable that growing up in a traditional environment you may have acquired this mind set. It is also possible that there are other people who share such views or thoughts. Since you use the word almost all my male friends, I find that you agree that not everyone has lost their virginity by 18-20. Therefore the possibility of finding a virgin bride may not be as bleak as you feel it is. Similarly, the phrase that no female is willing to talk about her past life may also be a bit extreme, before you marry someone it maybe important to be comfortable talking about such things, it is also important to be able to be honest with each other. Most importantly it is important for you to deal with the emphasis that you are placing on virginity, maybe you just fear getting into a relationship or may not be ready for marriage and in this way you are postponing a decision. Not having been in a relationship has had an aversive effect on your self-esteem, as you seem to consider it important. To deal with these factors it is advisable to visit a counsellor.