I am not happy with my personal and professional life, what should I do?
Q: I have been suffering from depression for quite some time. I don't like anyone and have a problem with everyone. When I don't like something about my husband, I talk about it to a friend and get her advice and sympathy. But when the same friend says something that I don't like, I complain about her to my husband & seek his advice & sympathy. Is it normal with all human beings? I have done MBA, CA and ICWA, whereas my boss has only done B.com. His advantage is that he joined the company before me & he has all the information & knowledge about the company. He is very crooked and does not allow anyone to reach clients. Now, he is studying for a higher degree on company's expense and the day he gets his degree, he will get a promotion. At home, most of the time my child remains sick. My husband is always shouting for no reason & does not like to discuss about things when calm. I have friends, who if in need of help anytime, have their relatives come & help, but nobody comes to our help. If at all relatives come, they have to be treated like guests. I am not happy with the work situation, my family situation and my parents & in-laws don't come to help. Am I expecting too much from life or my complaints are genuine? Would anyone in my place have handled everything positively? If you see from others' point of view everything looks good. I have a good husband, a good job, a full time maid, 2 children etc. I don't know why I am depressed always. I hardly smile anymore. Sometimes I think of ending my life. I never reveal my problems to anyone and keep all the things inside me and keep thinking about it and get depressed. Please advise.
A:Infact, this is not a very unusual situation in many peoples lives in the current modern world of competition, constant strive to achieve, and having such little time to do so many things. It also exhibits that having good things does not always ensure a good quality of life. Although it is easy to advocate that one should start slowing the pace of one’s life and take things slowly and one at a time and be happy with whatever is present rather than always worrying about what others have , do and what one could have, it is finally a matter of finding satisfaction and happiness and positives in one’s own life and move forward. For e.g- you have a full time house maid- that implies that you have a house, it also implies that the household chores are being supported, that you have finances to take care of her salary. You drive – that implies that you have a car, you as well have a skill of driving, you are independent, you have finances to maintain the car and run it. Now just by these two examples: one can tease out and understand how to relook at things and thus look at the positives and instead of worrying maximize your positive energies. It is the classic analogy of glass half empty – another sees the same as glass half full. And what changes, not the real circumstances , but your toleration of them , your use of your positive potential and energy to fuel your growth – while the other person would say the glass is half empty – oh I do not have this , I do not have that and eventually worrying would make him lose his potential and they would lose even what they have. It is difficult to get into this mould suddenly, it is a slow process and can amply be supported by a professional psychologist / counselor on a regular basis. Hope it helps otherwise if the severity increases , please do not hesitate visiting a psychiatrist.