I am not comfortable with my sexuality; should I go in for a gender change?
Q: I wish to put forward my psychological problem, which I am facing since my childhood. In fact I feel that I am a young boy of 21 years but having a mind of a girl and get attracted towards boys. In such a way I think that I am a homosexual person. I have never made any physical relation with any male and never wish to do so. Like my brothers who are male in both the way i.e. physically and mentally but I lack the completeness of my personality as a man. This is the feeling which I never shared with any one. I have mostly girl friends with whom and in their company I feel much comfortable. Similarly I have boy friends also. I am preparing for my IIM MBA preparation and my parents have much expectation. In fact they are very kind, caring to me and had given me a very good grooming. Sometimes I think may I change my sex from male to female, but my family and society does not permit me. I need your guidance and medical help both medicinal and psychological. How can I come out from this confused personality feeling and feel like a man. I am physically fit and my body feels like a male. I am a national level Tennis Player and a Commerce Graduate. I have disclosed this shortcoming to my father and mother, who are also very much worried. They advised me to do good preparation for IIM MBA preparation for entrance in IIM institutes. I am looking forward for your advice and medicinal prescriptions, so that I may feel like a boy as I am physically a boy.
A:There is a concept known as gender identity, which means the sense of a persons maleness or femaleness, which means how comfortable one feels with his own gender and how does he behave socially and feel emotionally about it. What I have gathered from your description is that you are uncomfortable with your sexual identity, and you want to feel female, when you mention the need of change of gender and liking towards men. Also you have mentioned same sex attraction, well that also is a part of this problem of gender identity. What you need is to go to a psychiatrist in your city, and talk to him at length, this issue needs to be handled more psychologically, less medically. There aren't medications that make you feel like a man, but with therapy (counseling), some medications would be given if indicated that would help you. Its a good thing that you have shared this with your family and they are supporting you, I would suggest that you take a specialist opinion at the earliest, and with your desire to change, medical help would benefit you a lot.