I am disturbed by my wife's past affair, what should I do?
Q: I have been married for 7 years. I came to know about my wife's past affair after 2 months of our marriage. I got very disturbed. She told me that she had also had sex and later narrated the whole story of how it happened. It wasn't proper sex, but I somehow wanted to believe her. The next moment, I threw many questions on her. In my mind I never believed what she said, as there were different stories every day and somehow we managed to pull through. Recently my behaviour has changed towards her. And I have started questioning her again. I am tired of myself, as I visualise many things about my wife's past. I start clenching my fingers and my whole body shivers. Please advise.
A:Marriage is an institution and requires commitment and bonding; and the need to move ahead rather than focussing on the blurry past. It is time to accept that you both are married and have a commitment to each other, which should be based on mutual trust, respect and a mutual cordiality. The repetitive looking back has the potential to affect the today and the tomorrow. It is best to tackle this distress by having regular couples counselling.