Q: I am a 23 year old girl. Though physically quite sound, I am facing a lot of emotional trauma. I was engaged to a man who within a month of our engagement got married to someone else without even telling me. As we shared a nice relationship, this was a complete shock to me. I am a professionally qualified girl and am working. Infact after this episode I have started working for longer hours. My problem is that I am not getting proper sleep since this happened and the idea of his not being there haunts me all the time. I have no idea how to get out of this clumsy feeling. Inspite of the fact that I have been betrayed I still love that man and want him back, which at times I feel is abnormal. Will taking sleeping pills help me have sound sleep and will there be any side effects if I take them.

A:Your problem with poor sleep and your continuing obsessive thinking about the man who treated you so cruelly is not at all unusual for someone who has been emotionally abused by a loved one. It may take as long as a year for you to recover from this rejection, but you can shorten the period of recovery by what you do to get better. Here are some suggestions: - Keep in close touch with close friends and family. - Do not isolate yourself. - You may use sleeping pills for up to one month, but not much longer. - Be physically active. - Eat well. - Nourish yourself spiritually. - Let your family and social network support you. - Be open to dating again, but avoid making an emotional commitment to another man for at least 6-9 months, as you are at risk of falling in love on the rebound. If, after 4-5 months you are still very upset and have trouble carrying out the program I suggested, you should enter into counseling with a qualified social worker or psychologist.