Q: My husband and I are married for the last 11 years and have two daughters. Right from the start he has been using very abusive language with me and even my parents for no fault of theirs. It is only a vent he gives to his own day to day frustations. But it has now crossed my threshold and causes me a lot of pain. I feel like leaving everything but then think of my little children and refrain. I tried to talk to him many times but all in vain and it has now become a way of life with him. I request you to please tell me if there is any way to stop him or for me to become immune to all what he says?

A:Since he is not able to respond to you, he cannot be helped unless he is willing to be treated by a qualified counselor or psychotherapist or marriage counselor. First, ask him to go. If he refuses, and you have decided that you cannot live with him unless he changes, threaten to leave unless he accepts treatment. But do not threaten unless you are ready to carry out the threat if he refuses.