How should I overcome failure?
Q: I am a 22 years old boy. It seems as if I am suffering from severe depression. Upto 10th class, I used to top every exam. After Joining a junior college ,I started thinking what others are thinking of me. My brain used to get filled with these thoughts. This resulted in declining concentration and has increased after I joined engineering. Though I topped many competitive exams at my school level, now I am frightened of even regular exams. I get depressed even on small failures. I am afraid of meeting and talking to my relatives and friends, and even reject phone calls from them. At present, I must read atleast 3 to 4 times to learn and this has resulted in regression of my academic graph. Failure at some of the interviews (HR-rounds) had further decreased my self-confidence. Some of my friends with academic aggregate less than mine could secure jobs while I could not. This had further increased my problem. Sometimes I feel like ending my life, instead of facing failure at every stage. I am unable to excel the way I did in my school days. Sometimes even my friends wonder how this has happened. How should I overcome this problem? Should I meet a psychiatrist?
A:Life at times becomes a self predictive process. Isnt it! It is indeed a challenge to come out of these kinds of vicious circles- the thoughts influence the actions and they become self defeating behaviours which feed into the negative thoughts and moods and this keeps on propelling the negativity further and further. The aim is to cut this cycle at some point. The past cannot be lived in and one should rather dwelling in the past (positive or negative), move on as it is a known factor with age - we do need to read something three or four times to memorise it and also the current studies are more challenging and require to be read 3-4 times to be understood. But, the issue is not that . The issue is to do it well and be satisfied rather than thinking that I have to read it so many times . Now if you are thinking negative thoughts - how would you be able to remember the study material - so, go by what the traditional thinking and teaching says: Do the deed honestly, sincerely, and positively and do not think of the fruit The tomorrows will take care of themselves if your today is worked at a good level. What you indeed require is to read Dale Carnegie - How to stop worrying, then apply and practice it on an everyday basis. All the best.