Q: I am a 36 years old woman facing a severe family problem. My younger brother walked out of the house to get married to a girl of his choice. He is the only son of the family and this issue has hurt us. Please tell me how to tackle this problem. I become weepy, irritable and short tempered whenever I think of it. I am unable to get over it. Please help.

A:Life is complex and challenging and dishes out both sorrows and happiness. Ultimately what one makes of an event is based entirely on the context, past experience, their hopes and expectations and perceptions and needs. Yes, it has been a major crisis for the family and if you spend time reflecting - the impact of the event can be understood spawning multitude of factors right from the love and respect for him to the sense of dependence on him plus the kind of expectations as well as sense of right or wrong, besides the thoughts of how permanent or temporary this step is. There are a number of issues raised by this event. The family's perception of the event, the family's judgment about the other person involved, the family's sense of hopelessness and breach of sense of loyalty or togetherness, and the family's coping of the event. It is clear that the family is not coping well and would need to visit a psychologist either all together to attend therapy or maybe individually. If the frustration is increasing and has started impacting on sleep and appetite, with increasing sadness then it would be useful to visit a psychiatrist for short-term medication help. However, the current coping style leads once to be aware that similar events in the future may precipitate similar reactions. Thus there would be a need to understand and incorporate effective coping strategies for the long term too.