How do I get rid of my depressive past?
Q: As a child I was abused physically and the abusers were my own maternal uncles. That has left a very deep mark on me and because of this I suffer from depression and other mental problems. I suffered a lot of problem in my teenage years and I have some behavioural problems too as I don’t have any friends. I talk to myself, loose my temper more often and I make up stories and lie a lot. I attempted suicide thrice when I was a teenager. I have a very loving and caring mother and I have tried every thing from meditation to yoga but all in vain. I cannot concentrate on any thing and am unable to study. I am appearing for GMAT and want to do well in my exams. I want to get rid of all this and want to start a new life. I get attracted to guys but can never approach them and if they approach me I feel very scared in even talking to them. Sometimes I cry a lot without any reason. I get emotionally attached to people after one or two meetings and when they don’t respond the way I want them to, leaving me hurt. And many people take advantage of this. I can’t raise my voice even when people are cheating on me and later regret it. Like I was having palpitations a few days back and went to a cardiologist well know to my family with my mom. He is a very senior doctor and on the name of check up he pressed my breasts for 10 minutes and I knew he was abusing me but at that time I was unable to say any thing and later for many weeks regretted and cried a lot. I have lost my self respect and don’t have any confidence left. It’s only my mother’s unconditional love that holds me back otherwise I feel used and feel like committing suicide. I am not dumb, I hold an offer to study masters from Oxfrod university and after submitting my Gmat score I will get a dual degree offer. I am very ambitious and know I can achieve my goals. Please help me. I want a healthy mind. There must be some therapy or medication to cure me. I am ready for any kind of treatment but I want to get rid of my past. Please help.
A:Sorry to learn about your pain. I understand how miserable it has been for you. The trauma is so intense and has left long lasting scars. It would be helpful and beneficial to take up a long-term therapy. Now Q. is how to find a therapist who is going to help. You have said you are likely to go for further studies to Oxford, UK, right? At the university you may be able to get help from a therapist, but if you still have some time before you go it would be good to find a therapist locally. To start with more frequent therapy sessions may be needed. Getting thoughts of want to harm your self, may be part of Depression, seeing a good psychiatrist my help. Antidepressants are helpful. Along with this drinking adequate fluids, eating healthy diet with fruits, bananas are helpful and taking up regular physical and mental activities are necessary to tackle Depression.