How do I get my married life back?
Q: I am 29 years old and been married for 2 years. My husband is quite unromantic, rude and a rough person. After our honeymoon I realised that he hardly has any interest in me. He tortures me mentally, says ill things and wants his own freedom, spending most of time with his friends. I am not allowed to say anything to him. I used to be very sweet to him inspite of everything. I even tried getting close to him but he would just throw me back. I thought a child would change him. So we were blessed with a baby boy and now I am tired of forcing myself to please him or be sweet to him. All I remember is his rude and rough words. My husband comes home, plays a little with the child, sits with his parents, goes to meet his friends and I as a wife have no status or say. He doesn’t discuss anything with me although I am well educated. What should I do? I needed a companion, a friend who cared and loved me. What should I do?
A:This is certainly a difficult situation that you are in. However, no one can tell you what to do, as it has to be your own decision. One thing that is clear is that this marriage is not meeting several of your needs. Are there any needs that are being met? Once you look at the positives and the negatives, weigh them against each other and see how you feel. It appears that your husband is unwilling to change. You seem to have tried but maybe you can involve someone else in the process like a trusted person to talk to him and encourage him to be more communicative. If no change takes place, then brainstorm about what choices you have. You may want to consult a psychologist if you are faced with difficult options and unable to decide.