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How do I get along with my husband who abuses me physically and verbally?

Q: I am a 32 years old female, married for past five years. I am a mother of two sons (two years old and three months old). I am the only daughter of my parents as I lost my brother around nine years ago. It was with great difficultly that I managed to get my parents back to normalcy. My husband is aware of all this but his behaviour has always been very sadistic and he always tries to retort to whatever I say, to the extent that he gets violent. He had physically abused me once and often abuses me verbally. I have been surviving on the hope that he will change some day. Now, I have lost all hope and am feeling extremely suicidal and I want to kill myself and my sons too. What should I do?

A:Domestic abuse often escalates and does not decrease unless intervened. In your case if he has been abusing you for such a long time, I doubt if it is going to get any better. First thing for you would be to be away from such abuse and by that I mean, you should take help of your parents/friends/persons whom you can trust - possibly consider moving away from your husband so that you can think through these issues. Considering you feel suicidal with thoughts of wanting to hurt your children, I strongly recommend that you let these thoughts know to your parents/friends immediately and have some body watch you/seek help – this is very important as often during this phase we are not able to think logically and could impulsively hurt ourselves and others.

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