Q: My 14 years old daughter is losing interest in studies. Although never hard working, she was an average student so far. This time she has barely passed. Although she realises that she needs to get serious, she could not do it actually. Although no one has ever been stern with her, she seems to be lost in her own world. She attends school everyday, attends her classes regularly and even sits through them quietly but it seems she does not pay any attention. She has been an energetic child and loves to go out with her friends. I am very friendly with her and we discuss almost everything. But whenever I try to advise her about anything she gets irritated. She is not violent but has a bad temper, which flares up very soon. She wants to study, as I never force her to do anything and let her make her choices but she is unable carry it out. How can I make her understand that she needs to be responsible?

A:Some children at this age are so involved with their own body and the changes. It is likely that your daughter has fantasies and daydreams about boys. They do get over it in a couple of years, but I see that you need a solution now.

Perhaps you need to check out whether she has access to the net and whether she is accessing pornographic sites. You have to talk to her frankly and listen to her. Do not let her become self-indulgent. Get her sister to spend time in a companionable way.

If her problems persist, talk to her teachers and Counsellor if possible.