Q: My younger sister is 25 years old. She is shy, not social and a timid person. She was in love with a boy while she was working 4 years ago who promised to marry her. His family was against it all these years but he still insisted on marrying her. Recently he got engaged to someone of his parent's choice. My sister is very upset, feels hopeless, stressed and dull. During the same period of 4 years, she never had a good job despite her good qualifications. She tried to attend interviews in good companies but failed in all of them. She is unemployed for the past one year and this has added to her stress. She is not accepting the idea of marriage and is not interested in working and refuses to build a network with job seekers and professionals. She fights with everyone on these issues and doesn’t want to listen to any suggestions from our parents or me as she thinks she is being forced to do things. Kindly give your suggestions.

A:It would be best for you and your parents to allow your sister some time to be able to deal with this loss. It is important not to push her to feel better or in to another relationship like marriage. Let her grieve for this broken relationship and remember that it is a very hard situation to be in. She needs time. With regards to looking for a job, yet again, this might not be the best time. Encourage her instead to occupy her time with relaxing and enjoyable activities. Talk to her about neutral issues while giving her the message that if she wants to talk about her feelings you are there for her. If you allow her this space she will be in a better position to be able to value other suggestion you make to her about life. If this does not help, please consult a psychologist for professional help.