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How can I get along with my mother-in-law?

Q: I am a 22 years old girl and have got recently married to my friend whom I know for the last four years. We both have passed out of university recently and have just started working. My husband is still not doing well financially. But I am doing very well. It was my mother-in-law who paid for the wedding expenses. My mother-in-law has some grudges with my parents and she scolds my parents, which irritates me. My husband is her only son. My husband and I live on the same land though not the same building. My mother-in-law has been accusing me of taking her son away from her and for not doing the household work. This has made my life hell. I am tired of living in their land and I just want to go away with my husband but he doesn't want to go. He wants to look after his mother. I feel like killing myself. How do I cope up with this situation?

A:You have drawn lines about what you will and will not tolerate, which is good. However, please remember that it takes some time for people to adjust to each other. Thus you and your mother in law may still be 'feeling your way around each other' so to speak. Also mother-in-law belong to another day and age, hence there may be a generation gap too. Why think of a total break as the first possibility? Why not negotiate with your husband to get your mother-in-law off your back? Rather than giving him an ultimatum to move out which he finds difficult to follow? Suicide should not be an option because you are punishing your self for no fault of yours.


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