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How can I control my anger and depression?

Q: I am a 26 years old woman. I have always been short tempered but have become depressed since the past 2 years. The reasons are many - I am suffering from infertility, have myopia and have become so weak that I keep falling sick quite frequently. I get fever too and always suffer from a cold. At times I hate everybody around me. I feel like crying and feel that nobody loves me. I have been married for 7 years but there has always been fights between my husband and me. I lose temper for no reason at all, and when I get angry I shout, beat myself and cry. How can I control my anger and live happily? I hate myself and feel useless, as I am not able to conceive even after treatment for the last 5 years. I hate all pregnant women and feel frustrated all the time. Please advise.

A:It is really appreciated that you have been able to pinpoint a few issues with yourself and have tried to reach out for help. Short temper can be a part of your personality structure, which requires indeed a lot of skill and rigour to control. Losing temper can make an individual lose many things besides relationships/ friends/ opportunities, etc. Anger management can be learnt and practiced from a clinical psychologist. This would imply making a list of all situations that can set anger off. Then evaluating the anger outburst and the consequences of it and how it finally comes down. Then it would involve making a list of coping strategies and putting them into action persistently, patiently and continuously till they become a part of your personality. Besides anger being a part of personality, depression can also sometimes present as anger. It can be really frustrating having infertility treatment with no positive results, besides the side effects of medications, hassles of appointments, hope of something happening and then no results, pressure from the family and perceived rejection and pressure from the society. I would suggest you visit a clinical psychologist for appropriate counseling and also a psychiatrist to get the depression evaluated and if need be, commence antidepressants.

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