How can I become more assertive?
Q: I am a 29-year-old married man. Three years back, I ran a business in partnership. I left the business, and now I am working in a private company. My partners are not giving me my due profit share. As a result, I am very tense. I cannot enjoy life due to this. Every day there is a guilt feeling that I cannot get my money back. Even my wife considers me guilty because I could not get my money back. Now I have started feeling that I am incapable and feel that I'm a timid man. I have lost all vigour in life, and it seems that everything depends upon my success in getting my money back. The worst part is that I cannot do anything legally as nothing is in my favour regarding the documents. My partners are neither giving the money back nor refusing to give it. I am left greatly disturbed. I cannot take this lightly as it is also affecting my present job. How can I become more assertive? I feel I am not capable to tackle such situations. Now I have started feeling more and more shy and find myself running away from difficult situations, not just in this case but also in my present job. I have been treated for depression once earlier. What treatment do you suggest for this?
A:I can understand the mess that you are in. I think that the current feelings that you describe and the dark outlook that you are projecting is secondary to probably the onset of depressive symptoms which are currently not so severe but have the potential to become more severe if not treated adequately and immediately. First step
- Firstly, visit a Psychiatrist. Restart treatment.
- Secondly, after your depression is again treated, you may decide to attend workshops or Psychologist sessions for assertiveness skills which are a different ball game altogether. You may also have psychological help to counter anxiety.
- Sometimes in life one has to take hard decisions and "let bygones be bygones" i.e. do not worry about the money but focus on the future rather than the past.