Emotions - single motherhood
Q: I am a single working mother. My son is 6 years old and studying in std. 1. He does not know anything about his father as we separated before he was born. I live with my parents and brother and although my son is very happy, he feels the absence of his father and asks me questions about him. How do I tackle this? I do not want this problem to affect his studies or his life. Please advise.
A:It is unfortunate that you have not said anything about his father to your son or given him an opportunity to meet him. It is necessary to give unbiased objective information to your son.Take care that you do not show the father in poor light as it may affect your sons self-esteem. Just say that he loves you but due to some circumstances all fathers cannot live with the mums and children. It is good that your son has an uncle and a grandfather around to provide male role models. But I honestly feel that you should not deprive him of contact with the father, or information about the father.
Children feel guilty and depressed for no fault of theirs. Children are also much smarter and more tolerant than we think they are. It may be best to tell him the truth in a soft way,or you would spend much effort in covering one lie. Mother-child relationships are best built on a solid foundation of trust and confidence and this trust can carry over into later relationships as well. So do re-think your stand and reveal the bitter truth gently and gradually, assuring him of your love and security.