Q: I am an averagely built 25 year old male, 5 feet 11 inches tall. At birth I had undescended testes. At the age of 7 years the doctors did the first operation on the left side, and brought down the left testis. The next year I had to undergo another operation on my right side, but the doctors said the testis wasn't there. The operation was unsuccessful. Instead, the doctors performed circumcision on my penis. I lived my life with this truth that I have only one testis. I was also sexually assaulted by my neighbour in my childhood. I was repeatedly raped for many months every afternoon. Those bad memories still haunt me. I lived my life as a loner - no friends except my family. I kept away from girls from the very beginning. Maybe I had this inferiority complex that I have only one testis, and also that I was afraid of having sex, because that means pain to me. But few years ago I met this girl who became my friend. She is very understanding. After two years of just being friends I gave into the temptation of falling in love with her. And I do love her a lot. Two years hence I will marry her. Sometime back I had sex with her and it was a total disaster. The first few times I ejaculated very early. Next thing which I found out was that I couldn't keep my penis erect. She has helped me a lot, but of no use. I just can't keep my penis erect for a long time. This means my married life will be a disaster. I am also worried if I will be able to father a child. I messed up my life. I had sex with this girl ... whom I love so much. But in return can't even satisfy her physical needs. I am heart broken and many a times think of ending my life. Please help.

A:It makes me sad to see that you have magnified a problem, that can be managed, into a catastrophe that is making you desperately unhappy. So, let us take this complicated situation apart, and look at each piece. Better to have correct information than to assume the worst and worry constantly. Having one testis is of no great importance. One is all that is needed. If it was surgically brought down in time, it is probably producing sperm. This can be tested by a urological doctor, who can have a sample of your ejaculate examined in a laboratory for a sperm count. Being raped when younger is a separate problem that probably did give you an inferiority complex, and make you insecure about your manhood. That may be why you kept away from women for some time. If your feelings about yourself as a man are still troubling, a psychologist may help you just by talking the situation over, so that you see it in a more realistic light. If the girl you love is willing to marry you, then she must love you, and that is wonderful and can help you overcome many of your problems. EVERY young man has a problem with premature ejaculation when he first is learning how to love a woman. It is complicated, and takes time to learn, and practice. Nervousness and anxiety are the enemies of love-making. Here, the love between you, plus patience and talking together, can help a lot. What a woman needs to satisfy her comes less from the penis of the man that from his words of love, his tenderness, his affection. Ask her if this is true, and best of luck.