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Am I being fair to my partner?

Q: I come from a very orthodox Rajput family. I am in love with my colleague, who belongs to some other caste and we are both committed to marry each other. Our relationship started as very good friends and one day he proposed me. My first reaction was a big NO but gradually I developed the same feelings towards him. Right now he is doing his PG from a very reputed medical college. I have completed my MBBS and internship. Right now I am preparing for my pre PG entrance. Once (2-3 months back) I tried to tell him about my previous friend, but he got very angry about it. He said I had cheated him. Then I went to a psychiatrist in my medical college. He said that marriage meant trust and it is very important to trust your partner. He also said that one has to be very judicial about what we should tell our partner about our past. After one day me and my partner met in a restaurant and I told him that marriage is a big commitment and we should trust each other. He also said that it is true. I love him very much and truly I don't want to lose him. Right now our relationship is going very smoothly but I get very upset sometimes about not telling him everything and I feel guilty about that. Please tell me how to overcome this feeling? I love my partner very much and I want to make his life very happy and smooth. I want to make my relationship very strong and long lasting, please guide me?

A:Mutual trust, understanding and respect are integral part of every relationship and assume greater importance specially in marriage. Your psychiatrist has adequately advised you regarding your relationship with this boy. What you need to decide is whether what you are hiding or rather not telling him is really that important to you and your current relationship….and don't we sometime or the other not hide or even tell lies in our other relationships. As long as we are not causing harm to any one in doing so it’s passable.


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