Why is my child more attached to my mother-in-law?
Q: I am a working woman and have a 2 years old son. I feel that my son is very attached to my mother-in-law who takes care of him when I go to work. The problem is that she never allows him to play with small children. I would like to know whether this will affect him in future and I would also like to know how I can make him feel happy so that he also likes to stay with me? My mother-in-law does not have an understanding nature and she always tries to keep him away from me.
A:You are leaving the child with your mother-in-law because you need her help while you are away to work. It is obvious that the child will be attached to her more than to you. Your mother-in-law may not be finding it easy to allow him to interact with other children. The point is that if you are taking the decision to leave the child with her, you will have to accept the fact that the child will be more attached to her. You will also have to accept that she is doing you a favour. She is obviously older and has her own experience and wisdom. You may suggest any changes in her parenting style with affection and respect, but you can not demand her to change her style. If you are so suspicious of her intentions and impact, maybe you can explore the possibility of leaving the child at a creche or day-care centre. Other factors which affect the upbringing of the child are the role of the father, you as a mother and the total family environment.