Q: My 5 years old son is going to day care centres (changed 3 different centres) since he was 11 months old. He is very playful and normal in all his activities and studies. He is very fussy about food, anything he does not like kept in his lunch-box just comes back untouched, and he prefers to stay hungry rather than eating. What should we do? Another problem is he does not tell anyone when he wants to pass stools. We have tried explaining him many times calmly as well as aggressively that he should tell his teacher or the helper about it or to us when he is at home. He just stands in a corner and tries to push back the stools. He does not share the reason why he does this. We have discussed the issue with his day care teachers too, but they say they are helpless because he never tells them when he wants to pass stools. Please help.

A:You have stated different views about the child: - that he is happy and normal and that he has eating problems and problems with bowel movements. He seems to be drawing attention to himself, by not indicating when he wants to move his bowels. Since he has been in a crèche since he was 11 months old, and probably missed the specific attention of the mother, I can only imagine that some early experience has led to his present condition. That is only a guess, however.

First you should consult a Paediatrician to ensure that there are no physical reasons for his lack of control. After that has been cleared, you should consult a Child Psychiatrist. Writing in to a site for this kind of problem is only the first step. The child will have to be fully examined and given treatment. The parents, especially the mother must help him, taking off time from work, if necessary.