Q: My daughter is 5 years old. As I am a working woman, she needs to be with the baby sitter for about 3 hours everyday. I lost two of my other children, which happened in front of my first daughter. She repeatedly talks about them and nowadays I feel that she is scared and refuses to go to the baby sitter. She suddenly thinks of them and becomes cranky. She insists that I should be with her all the time. She loves the company of small children and plays with them a lot. However, when she sees me, she refuses to go to the babysitter or school. Does she have any problem?

A:It must have been quite a terrible experience for you and the young daughter to lose two younger children. It seems to be still there in the memory of your 5 year old. She needs to be cuddled and held close and assured that she will be OK. If possible, tell your baby sitter also to show tenderness and special concern for your child. It is not abnormal to feel upset after the death of a close relative. She is too young to manage to get over it on her own. Talk to her and listen to her. Patience and affection will solve most problems.