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How can I cope with comparison made by my parents?

Q: I am always being tortured at home and my parents constantly compare me with my brother. They scold me for no mistake of mine as I am not good at studies like him. I am very worried about this and get severe headaches at times. I don't smoke or drink alcohol. Please advise.

A:You seem to have developed a sense of inadequacy and frustration at being compared and scolded. Adolescence and young adulthood can be especially difficult times in terms of identity crisis. Remember that all individuals are different. Learn to identify your own strong points and build on them. Stop focusing on your weaknesses. You cannot change others but you can change the way you think and react. Rather than think that you are being tortured, try to think that your parents want your improvement and welfare. Try to communicate with your parents. Express your anguish and need for love and approval without blaming them or being rude. Talk to a friend to share your feelings. Better still, learn stress management and take professional help from a qualified psychologist or counsellor.


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