Q: I have been dating a man who is 10 years older than me for a year now. When our relationship was about 2 months old, he confessed that he is married with 2 children but is on a verge of divorce. I love him very much and know that he loves me too. We had future plans together, but now he seems to be pulling out. Nothing has happened with the divorce. He says that he has family problems and always acts funny when I am with him, as if I am crowding his space. I have tried leaving him only to find out that my life is miserable. What should I do?

A:It is important to have a longitudinal perspective to life, to understand and anticipate the consequences of your decisions. You need to talk to him, get a clear understanding of how he sees the relationship, and future, and you need to decide for yourself what is best for your individual self. I also suggest you take some counseling from a clinical psychologist/psychiatrist.