Q: I am a housewife having a 3 years old son. My in-laws are staying near our house. When my son was one year old, they started taking him with them to their home without me. So whenever any of them comes to our home, he wants to go there. Though I don't refuse, but in some situations I am unable to send him. Actually, I explain the thing to my child patiently. He listens patiently but still wants to go there. He doesn't want me to accompany him. My problem is how to make my child understand the situation in a better way without hurting my in-laws?

A:Parents and grandparents love the child. Their roles are different and children are enriched when they have both kinds of relationship. It is important NOT to feel competitive in the matter of being fond of the child. You son probably enjoys the privileges he gets at his grandparents home. He is also probably very fond of them, as they are of him. His frequent long visits to them will have to be reduced when he joins Nursery school. Why don't you let him follow his inclinations? Being fond of grandparents does not mean having less love for the mother. Relax and think of ways you can have fun and play with your child. Most mothers spend too much time on the child's hygiene and cleanliness and too little time on play. Of course you have the major responsibility for cooking the food and all the care giving tasks for your child. At age 3, your child will have no inclination to listen to your patient explanations. Maybe, on some days, you could finish your housework early and offer to go along too. Anyway, the situation will have to be handled delicately. Consider yourself lucky that the child has two homes in which he is safe and assured of love and care. As he grows up he will see things for himself. I do not see the need to make him understand the situation as it stands.